IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL

 

 

No relationship is perfect, and frankly thank goodness. It would be terribly, boringly idyllic if relationships were all running through meadows and waking up together looking Pinterest perfect. You’re sharing your life, and sometimes life is a total backwards, upside down, right royal pain in the arse – so inevitably your relationship will take the hit. But, how do you know those rough times are what makes you guys so right, and how do you know if it’s pointing to a bitter end or a better life together. Max Blumberg, psychologist and researcher at London’s Goldsmith’s University and Samantha Evans, sexual health and wellbeing expert know what it’s all about, and more importantly how it all works out.

 

 

 

SORT IT OUT

 

Blumberg says, “If there’s no conflict it could be a sign that the relationship is really dull – or that one of you might be walking all over the other.” Turns out, the secret to a strong relationship is resolving those little rifts the right way. 

 

“Good conflict comes from being able to air your differences in an unemotional way”. Max reckons the trick is to take a minute (or a few hours) and let your angry chemicals get back into balance with the good ones before you go back in the other room and discuss the matter with him, calmly.

 

 

 

MAKE UP SEX IS ESSENTIAL

 

The frustration has built up and now you’re trying your best to let it wash over you. ‘Having make up sex is a good thing – and from a female perspective it’s critical’, Max’s words and we’ll take them. Sort out the argument without too much emotion and work out the frustration under the sheets…or in the shower.

 

 

 

SOME PEOPLE JUST DO NOTHING

 

At the beginning it’s all weekends away, long lustful dinner dates and all those other heartwarming honeymoon moments. Realistically, these things start to fade out but the experts say that doing nothing can be just as valuable as doing all those lots of lovely things. Quality time can be a movie night in or a stroll along the beach, it’s practical – but studies show it works. It’s all about finding a life partner that you can muck along with for the every day stuff.

 

 

 

TAKE TIME TO TALK

 

Talk about what you like in the bedroom, what you don’t like in the bedroom. Talk about your feelings, his feelings, the dog’s feelings. Whatever the subject, Max suggests you sit down every six months and have a good old heart-to-heart with the one that holds your heart. A successful relationship is built on communication and understanding, without that, you’ll miss each other and get the wrong end of the stick more often than not. 

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